I guess I’ve been PRETTY lucky in the past to have never really experienced ‘internet bullying’. As a blogger, and as a fat female blogger, this is something that I’m constantly expecting. Obviously I’ve had the classic and uninspired “ur a whale” comments, as well as the slightly more creative “she’s an evolved version of Snorlax”, but those never bug me. I’m fat, and there are millions of fatphobic people out there. Not my problem.
But to get literal DEATH THREATS over a pair of pants is not something that I was ever expecting. As noted in my previous blog post, I was so fucking excited to put up photos of the new ‘Period Pants’ that I designed and sewed. If you’ve been reading my blog for a little bit then you know I’ve been really into sewing as a hobby lately: I couldn’t find clothes I loved anymore, so I decided to make my own. I’ve made shirts and jackets and dresses, but this was kind of my first attempt at pants. I came up with the idea a few months ago when my vagina absolutely ruined a pair of beige culottes. My tampon failed me and there were big splotches of blood all over the crotch and butt. I was like, wouldn’t it be cool if I had a pair of period pants that I could wear and not worry about leaking? Something that could mask, or look cool with, the blood stains? So I made a pair of pants with velvet period stains all over them.
I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a political or feminist statement about anything (even though I obviously do have certain political ideologies and I’m definitely a feminist). I just thought it would be cute and fun and funny to have a lighthearted pair of fricking period pants. So I posted this photo on instagram and tumblr thinking, ha ha, people will get a chuckle. NOPE, NOT A CHUCKLE WAS HAD. I immediately started getting horrible comments, reblogs, and messages telling me they were going to find me and kill me, because I’m a “dumb white feminist bitch”. Definitely white; definitely a feminist; dumb and bitchy, for sure, sometimes. But putting it all together within the context of a death threat over a pair of pants I made is a little crazy.
Some of the (very rudely worded) comments I got included, “I just don’t get it. Why??” Uh, well, why not? There’s really nothing to get. It’s fashion, it’s art, it’s a piece of red velvet cut up and sewn on my crotch area meant to look like blood. Please don’t let it ruin your day.
“This pisses me off because it’s not anatomically correct. The velvet is way too high up and when I bleed, it goes all over my butt too!!!” First of all, your internalized misogyny is showing. Second of all, it’s not… anatomically correct… because it’s pants. It’s not a diagram of a vagina from a fourth grade health class. It’s a piece of velvet. Also, I have fat thighs. My thighs are really fucking chunky, okay? If I had put the velvet between my legs where my actual vagina is, the fabric wouldn’t have lasted because my thighs rub together when I walk. I put the ‘blood stain’ where it would be unbothered by my thighs and still visible when I sit. Also, I put it on the butt too, but my butt is not in the picture you saw, is it? So sit down. Double also- would my pants being ‘anatomically correct’ REALLY stop you from being a whiny offended internet complainer? Because I really don’t think it would.
“This is fucking disgusting I’m going to throw up” and “This is gross and unsanitary”. No… it’s not. It’s a pair of pants. It’s two pieces of fabric sewn together. If that makes you want to throw up, then you ave bigger issues.
“HAVING YOUR PERIOD IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF AND SHOW OFF!!!” Good thing this isn’t a REAL PERIOD STAIN, then. People. You’re getting disgusted and offended by fabric. (Side note: I’m proud of being a woman and while I recognize that not all women have their periods, I do find my period empowering and a natural thing that I’m never ashamed of.)
“This is the same as a guy jizzing on pants and calling it ‘art’. Why don’t I cut up white fabric and glue it all over my black pants??” Well, really, it’s not the same thing. Women are beautiful creatures that bleed every month in order to create life. (Again, I don’t think you’re less of a woman if you don’t bleed/if you don’t have a vagina/etc). If my period wants to be heavy and leak all over my white pants, it’s damn well going to. I can’t stop it and I can’t help it and I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. You’re comparing THAT to the result of you sitting in your mom’s small, dark basement eating cheetos with one hand, and jerking off your dick to lesbian porn with the other? I don’t think so. By making that comparison you’re sexualizing period blood- you’re putting it on the same level as you having a male orgasm. It’s cool if you’re into that, I guess.
“When will white feminists stop” “White people are a waste of space”. This one is a little tricky because I am a white feminist. However, I’m constantly trying to acknowledge my privilege and be a good ally. I don’t want to do anything to take up space in a space that isn’t meant for me, and I do agree, for the most part: White people suck. Is it my place to say, no, I’m not being a “white feminist”, with it’s negative connotations, in this instance? I’m not sure. I’ve thought a lot about it and for the most part, I think it’s just people jumping on the “white people are embarrassing” bandwagon. It’s absolutely true: white people are embarrassing. White people do dumb shit. But I really don’t think me making a pair of fun pants falls into that category.
I also designed/made/embroidered the shirt, which thank goodness, no one seems to have a problem with.
IN CONCLUSION: I was really happy, proud, and excited to share my outfit until the internet took a giant shit on my face. I try really hard to brush off the h8ers but it was a little much for me this time. Please think twice before you’re mean to someone, especially if it’s about something they’ve taken the time to create. Maybe I’m too sensitive, and I need to get thicker skin, but death threats over an outfit aren’t okay.